So follow me, I’ll be your river, river,
I’ll do the running for you.
Follow me, I’ll be your river, river,
I’ll move the mountains for you.
Follow me, I’ll be your river, river,
I’m here to keep you floating.
I just fall in love with every Sam smith song I hear.
"A good goal should scare you a little and excite you a lot."
— Chris Soriano (via w-ildfires)
"The fear of rejection is much worse than rejection itself."
— Overthinking can kill you. (via cellien)
I don’t want to look back in five years time and think, ‘We could have been magnificent, but I was afraid.’ In 5 years I want to tell of how fear tried to cheat me out of the best thing in life, and I didn’t let it."
— (via thedbldee)
I am an employed woman!
No it’s not in the field I went to school for, but it’s working with kids which is something I eventually wanted to do. And I don’t have to work weekends, which is great because I want to do winterguard this year. I’m really happy about this. Things are looking up here!
I have a job interview today!
Send me all of your good vibes and positive thoughts and prayers! I really want this one.
On an unrelated note, utsa starts classes today. I keep laughing at all of the first day statuses. I no longer have to do school!
"Honestly, you just take a deep breath and say fuck it."
I still absolutely adore this song. :)
Life update #1
This post is all over the place. Sorry :)
It’s been about 2 weeks since I came home from drum corps, and about 3 months since I graduated from college. I’m still trying to figure out this whole life after college thing. Going straight to drum corps after college kind of postponed life for a bit, which I didn’t mind. It was nice. I’m glad for the experience, but I’m back in the real world now with no plan.
This is the first time in my life that I have no clue what I’m doing. My whole life I always knew what to do next. College, work, guard, internship, etc. Now I don’t have any of that. For the first time in my life, I am completely lost.
As much as I loved San Antonio, and I LOVED San Antonio, I knew staying there would no longer be beneficial to me. My last semester of college, I became a little depressed. But that’s a story for another day. I knew even though I loved my friends and the city, I had to leave. Money is a reason too. Drum corps wiped me out. I no longer have enough money to live on my own anymore.
I always told myself that if an opportunity arose to move to another place, I would take it. That plan has always worked for me. When I got the opportunity to go to Kentucky, I went. I made friends and had an amazing time. Same with San Antonio. So, I decided to move back home. To Oklahoma City. I’m hoping the same happens here, even though I am no longer in school. I also decided that I’m taking a break. I’m using this time here to pause and figure out my next step. Sort of like a gap year, but after college.
So far, these 2 weeks have been boring. It’s been a lot of job searching and boy meets world reruns. I already miss my friends so much, and my freedom too. I haven’t met anyone here yet. The people I have met are my parents friends. I kind of feel like people low key judge you if you move back in with your parents after college. I felt really bad about that at first, but my mom told me that one of her friend’s son is moving back home this week and he just graduated college from an out of state school too. It’s comforting to know I won’t be the only one here with this situation.
I haven’t had any of these jobs call me back, which is a little discouraging. I didn’t apply any jobs in the field I went to school for because I don’t plan on staying here, and I really don’t know if I want to do Social Work anymore. That’s also a story for another time. So I just applied to retail jobs. I know it will be hard to find one, not because I’m not qualified, but because I want to do one last season of winterguard. I know most jobs will not hire you if you can’t work weekends, which is when we rehearse and compete.
This post is all over the place.
I don’t know what I want to do with my life. All I know is that want to move out of my parents house by this time next year, and I want to spin one last season of winterguard with the independent guard here. That’s all I’m going to worry about right now. Getting a job so I can do those things. Then I’ll figure it out from there.
If I’ve learned anything from my almost 22 years on this Earth, it’s that life always works itself out. As long as I do my part and put effort into it, life will do its part and work itself out. This always happens. So I’m going to stop worrying. I have the rest of my life to figure out what I want to do.
Money On My Mind - Sam Smith
I finally got around to watching The Fault In Our Stars tonight.
Oh my gosh… My feels… I don’t know what to do… I just…
It was so beautiful. A single tear built up in my eye.
"Sometimes you have to forget what’s gone, appreciate what remains, and look forward to what’s coming next."